Norris City Kids Church | Conference

What’s going on sunday morning good morning, we are excited to be here with him. We just want to say thank you for having us were from owensboro, which is what we’re not from there, but that’s where we pastor and we’re excited I think it’s neat how god set stuff up, because we were in seattle, washington and 2009 just sitting in a meeting that I really didn’t want to be in bad ass. Brian to talk me into it, because Norris City Kids Church when we go to long conference is like 5-day conferences, I’m kind of a pastor’s kid, so I just asked for the second day, I’m done I just go to the mall, and then he still attends and i. He said you have to stay. You know, there’s always the conversation we’re having so I’m sitting on this road and they say greet your neighbor, so I kind of half-heartedly turn and I’m like. Oh, these Norris City Kids Church are very tall and so I thought on Norris City Kids Church behind where you from owensborowe’re about 45 minutes from evansville indiana and where you guys were pastors in north, city, illinois and i. Don’t know where that was at the time-cuz I’m not from here. So then they said. What’s about 45 minutes from evansville indiana to come all the way to seattle washington to find a freddy’s friends. But when we Norris City Kids Church that out, then we just started kind of meeting halfway and they had a bunch of crazy kids and we had on a whole bunch of crazy kids, not as many as we do now, and we just hit it off and god gave us great friendship. So you may be here:today. And! You may be sitting beside someone that you know or don’t know, but you may have something that you need from them and so don’t discount the person next to you watching the stage for what you’re looking for and so I just want to encourage you with that today. But we do have 3, kids and i. Don’t know if you want to talk about it or if you want me to do, we have we have three children that we’ve been married for 17 years. I know it’s hard to believe because I look like a teenager, but I’ve been married 17 years now, and we gotthe long tails and it’s a long time for us, but in in 1998. Her father was a pastor out in amarillo texas and he took me in as a faith-based kind of a drug rehab challenge that god gave him in his personal life. I was a methamp addict and alcoholic and and god spoke to him. I was on the golf trip that he happened to be horn. I, don’t know why I was on the golf trip cuz. He can’t hit the golf ball out of his shadow, but he was there. You know so embarrassing himself and he said god spoke to me and if you want to get away from her outlaw friends and get a new lease on life, I’m going to invite you to come out to amarillo texas and hang out with me for a couple of weeks or a month to get yourself cleaned up and drive good enough mine back that you can fight and he probably didn’t think I would say. Y’all come. But at that point I was looking for a way out. You know there’s a lot of Norris City Kids Church that are making a lot of bad decisions in life and they’re trapped. The devil’s got them blinded. They just can’t see a way out. But how do you know that all of us are the answer, tobuddy else’s problems, and we can show them the way out and his name is jesus. Somebody say amen to that. So he he’s the answer and he is the way of escape, and so he said come out and I said yeah and I went out there and I got born again. He cast the devil out of me. I got filled with the spirit and I’ll tell you:i stayed because he had a pretty daughter in the best drug habits have pretty girls, rehabs have pretty girls and I will give you a dime for rehab without a pretty girl and I do you know so so I stayed around and serve there in his Norris City Kids Church. For a couple of years, I went everywhere with him like every night. Wherever he went, I went whatever he needed done. I did it and to pay him back for everything you did. My life I ran off with his daughter a couple of years later, cuz, that’s kind of guy i, said:we’ve been trying her hand in marriage for 17 years now, and it’s been great, you know:we’ve we’ve given ourselves to study. No marriage is perfect and there’s no such thing, I believe as an expert on marriage, cuz I met himthe Norris City Kids Church that do these kind of seminars. I know that there are anointed to teach. Without me. No teaching and doing are two different things whenever you’re teaching something too anointed to do it, but whatever you got to live it now, it’s down to living by faith just like everybody else does, and all of us will have rocky times in marriage web tough times, but we got grace and we got the power of god and I’ll. Tell you what we get through those times. Every mountain gets moved and god helps us supernaturally no 17 years v, 15 of them have been spent in full-time ministry, where we’ve just really been a grassroots, just helping Norris City Kids Church make it through life and make it through family, make it through marriage and and not just make it but really be victorious and be successful and exceed in it. That’s all we want for you guys today is that you just be lifted that you go up higher, we’re not looking for you to go from an f marriage, all the way to an a marriage today, but hopefully we can get you from an f to a see this year and then maybe a c to a d next year in 2019 you’re, going all the way to an aibelieve it in yet I think.

Norris City Kids Church we give ourselves just these goals that are so lofty that we can’t even like wrap our brain. It’s like i, don’t even like the person that I’m sitting next to so I’m pretty sure we’re not going to an a+ this year. You know, but god can heal and he can restore and he can help-and maybe you guys, you know you are already like we’re kicking it be + style i. Can we really feel like we’re doing kind of good, and you came today to even get better that’s the best way to do. It is to start when you’re already thinking you’re doing okay, but you just want to so into your marriage and just invest into it, because that’s a brian I really. We had every reason not to have a good marriage. We got I got married when I was 19, he got married when we were 22 I mean when he was 22 here we are married. We move away from our families and everything that we know. We were college students, so there wasn’t like the financial flow. That was incredible. I mean everything that we did and we’re both very strong, reallydominant personalities and so, and we had every reason to fail a couple of toy dogs in this marriage. That will happen a lot today. Watch it here just to laugh today, because the bible says that if you open your mouth, god will fill it and the best way to open. It is just get you to laugh out loud so that you can have no pun intended. That was awesome. I went with y’all I know it’s something else, but that was awesome. So anyway, we in those 17 years we studied. We’ve asked every person that we Norris City Kids Church with a good marriage. We sit them down and we question them because we love two things:we love Norris City Kids Church and we love family and we want to be great at both of those, because I believe there were two institutions that the lord establish that he still growing and making it. So we want to be a part of that, so we just keep on questioning Norris City Kids Church and asking Norris City Kids Church and reading books and finding-and so this is our favorite thing to talk about, and we love to do it and work so excited to be here today we do have 3 kids I want to tell this cuz the women care play, the human don’t care, but the women do so 10-year. I have a little girl. Her name is briley she’s, ten years old she’s in the fifth grade and she’s incredible. She has leadership skills. We are working, those out she she is just. She is awesome if you had. If you get to pick what gender of child you have. First, have a girl, they raise the rest of them and then the second one that we had was justice samuel. He was a gift for a for us from god. We lost a child before him and he was the prophetic answer to what god was going to do for our lives and we just let he’s sweet and he’s awesome, but he has a climbing ability. That is unbelievable. The other day we were at a at a Norris City Kids Church and it was a fairly large sanctuary. So I was up in the front ministering to some Norris City Kids Church and he was with us and he’s a climber. I mean there’s just no getting around it, you don’t we can. He can’t not climb, he doesn’t get them for when we punish him. We make him say ground level, that’s how you punish justice. He lives in the rafters and so I’m just watch. It he’s at he’s great he’s kind of low-key kid, but he’s like quietly in the rafters all the time, so I’m always watching him and I hadn’t, seen him for a minute and i. Looked in the back of the sanctuary at the sanctuary was in louisville kentucky to have these huge theater curtains and they were thick and velvet and they were, they were awesome and they come down and they and they create like a smaller sanctuary. You know gigantic, and the really strong and I look over and there’s about three boys a little older than my son, cheering for my son and as I watch across the way. Oh, no, no and I start running in slow motion and I can see him. Look at the curtain going up in the ceiling and about the time it gets to elliptical. So it’s lifted and I see him go and he grabs hold of it and it continues to go up and he doesn’t like let it drag him he’s like holding it right here and he’s looking back of his buddies. He’s gone so I see him rising and it is 25. Foot ceiling and I can see I’m thinking. What is he going to do when he gets up there and I know he could hold on for a minute? So I’m running to him see very slow motion and he gets all the way up in, like maybe 10 feet in the air, and he just goes, let’s go and he just lance he’s awesome. You know, and he turns on his buddies are like yeah and I said. I said just just what you doing a little boy said. He told him to i. Looked at this older boys way older I said:did you did you tell him to do that if he comes out with a twinkle in his eye? I have always wanted to do that and he did it. I thought it was so great to the pastor said:son I paid $45,000 for that curtain. Don’t touch it again, trying to corral my children. You know so I can’t just it’s on the inside something left on the inside because I’m, like you, know how many Norris City Kids Church in the world just don’t, grab it and just go for you to just write it all the way to the top.

That’s what we want for you today is for you just to grab ahold of life and marriage and family and just write it all the way. The top there will be Norris City Kids Church looking at you going man I have always wanted to do that, but I just didn’t have the guts to go for it, and you took the first step today. So that’s about justice store in the we have chapel and she’s 5 she’s, sweet, she’s, cute she’s, our last one, and we’re done thank you are done, I’m done and in jesus name, I have a friend in the room that thought he was done to it. He’s he’s raising a giant son right now, so I guess you got to be careful that you’re not always down when you think you’re done. Somebody say amen to that. That’s the lord’s accident! Let’s, let’s do this and I’ll tell you. We love your pastors. We love your Norris City Kids Church. I think this is one of the greatest Norris City Kids Churches in america you have some of the greatest leaders in america. Let’s give them a hand, clap some telling you their world class leaders pass that they have a heart after god of all of my friends that I have in ministry around the country, I believe the pastor chad everett has one of the purest, cleanest arts of any man. I, know and I’m telling you he’s a gift to the body of christ, I love, you i, love you and it’s an honor to be here with you, but your ears. What I want to do, let’s pray and then we’re going to teach a little bit today. We’ve been we’ve been getting to know you, but we want to teach let’s pray, father i! Thank you for the Norris City Kids Church under the sound of our boys right now and I agree with the prayer. That’s already been prayed that we have eyes to see. We have ears to hear what the spirit of god would say to the Norris City Kids Church and we come today and we say that we need your help if you’re comfortable with that, you may just want to lift a hand to heaven right now. Let him know father. We look to you right now. You’re the answer to the source:you’re, the alpha you’re, the mega you’re, the one that turns water into wine, not believe that you can come and you can breed live and of these marriages. Lord. You can speak to us and give us wisdom, I believe that the well of wisdom’s flowing into life not from us but from you right now, lord and that you come and you do something so supernatural in our marriage. You push us down the road. A million miles, I pray that in jesus mighty name and the Norris City Kids Church said:hey man. We won’t to entitle the teaching session that we’re going to do throughout today. We’ll call it marriage is a garden. Everybody say:marriage is a garden. You know, jesse had the idea. We we we are sold a house bought a new house. We went out into the country just a little bit. I’m a country boy I’m from providence kentucky, western, kentucky I was raised on a farm and we were living in town and we had neighbors and one day I was in my bathroom and I was in the bathroom. Getting ready, I’ll look out the window and my neighbors are in their kitchen and they’re. Looking right at me out on my bathroom and I’m, like i, got to get out of here right now. I’m bummed selling this house tomorrow and I sold it and I went out to a place called philpot kentucky, and we have a lot of room out there, but it’s like on an acre or something, and so jesse decided she wanted garden. You want to go out and I want to garden. We got a house where family we ought to plan a garden. You know stuff that women want to do to torture, torture, men, farming, community, love to golf, but I’d love to garden, but I’m a golf and golfers hate, gardens, that’s what it comes down to it, cuz when you should be playing golf now, you’re taking care of a garden and jesse wants his garden. So we we plan it and she done just want to garden. She wants organic garden. This is like 7 or 8 years ago. I, don’t even know what organic was. What is organic is that, like, whenever i, don’t supersize my mcdonald’s happy meals at what organic, and so she wants an organic garden and we get out. We get all the stuff out to plant the garden. We get a buddy to bring a tiller over we going by the seeds, we get the organic stuff that goes with the garden, and we start planning that thing and I got her to admit that getting the garden started that first day of putting out the garden, it’s quite a bit of fun, cuz you’re. Seeing something happen quickly, you see, would your eyes it’s satisfying and I can see progress and earth been broken and rose are going out there and stuff happening. It’s like man. This is exciting and you know, marriage and relationships are a lot like those Norris City Kids Church like the exciting parts of the early part of a relationship where they’re putting something out, and they see stuff happen quickly. Without me know, that’s only one day of owning a garden is setting something out:listen to marriage, just the sparkle. The early part of the dating of the going out. It’s just a brief part of really having a marriage or having a relationship, and so many Norris City Kids Church want the quick stop, but listen to quick stuff doesn’t pay off a long-term somebody’s hand into that is after you get a garden. You have some other stuff.

You have to do to that garden to keep it going right. Whenever the rain quits falling from the sky, you have to water, the garden. Whenever the weeds come out, you have to get out there and actually weed the garden. Understand. I had to do that when I put a garden out when I find out I have to leave the garden cuz I I used to help my brother sent out a mass garden, I love doing that, but I never went over and help them weed the thing, and then you have to fertilize the garden. You have to take care of the garden you you have to make sure what you’re planning actually comes up out of the ground and I’m telling your marriage is not just walking into a store and buying what you want. Marriage is a garden in if you’re going to have a good, garden you’re going to have a good marriage. You have to tend when you have to keep that marriage. Marriage is work coming, it is one of the greatest things will ever be in it, and it’s beautiful, it’s wonderful, I’m telling you the greatest gift I’ve ever gotten in my life, is right here beside me right now, outside of jesus and the holy spirit, but-and she knows that I’m, the greatest gift she’ll ever get in her life without a shadow of a doubt, but I’m telling you keeping up with a gift like this can be worked at times and all I know I mean we all know how many I would admit. You’ve been difficult before in your marriage, I mean when we can all be difficult. We all have our dates, and hopefully it’s not on the same-day somebody say amen, but but it’s like that, it’s a garden and what we have is where the culture that tells Norris City Kids Church listen, you fall in. You fall out of love. You just hop into a relationship when you get married, you don’t count the cost, skip, 33 bucks, a couple of eyes and half a brand. You get a marriage license down at the courthouse, but that doesn’t make for a long-term, successful house. But what will make for a long-term successful house? Is it will build our house on the teachings of jesus christ and the rot of the word of god and I believe genesis through revelation of paint us a picture of how we can have the greatest marriage possible when we went to get married and we went to get our marriage license at the courthouse and we were standing there remember being 19 years old and I had chosen to get married. We were excited about getting married, we were thrilled to get married and we walk in and we’re just so excited it’s the day we’re getting our marriage license in beside us as a young girl. She was proud, 16 years old and a man about 30 and both of her parents were. They are signing her life away to this man and the lady behind the counter. Looked at him and said:that’ll be $32 and he said $32 are you kidding me I thought run for your life. What is happening to the parents acted like, they didn’t even see it and they just went ahead and signed her over and I was so sad for that little girl, because I’m thinking $32, this is going to cost you a lot more than 19 I knew it was going to cost him a lot more than $32 to keep that marriage intact and make it all work, and so, if we’re willing to invest if we’re willing to so, if we’re willing to put the seeds in if we’re willing to till the ground up a lot of times, Norris City Kids Church garden we’ve heard it sets, the grass is greener on the other side, and then Norris City Kids Church say it’s because there’s more fertilizer over there, you remember that sang it’s, like that. Whenever you see someone else is going, and it looks incredible, it may just be that add more fertilizer. At the day they have chosen to tend to the thing that god has placed in their life. The only thing we grew in the garden that year was a very hot radish and a very few tomatoes, and my friend would tease us. He live down the street needs. Those tomatoes only grew because I’d come and shake a little 7 on him when y’all were sleeping at night, because Norris City Kids Church you know you’ll just have a little something grow up in your garden and you’ll think that you had something to do with it, who really someone else fertilized it for you helped you with it. You know they just came along and just gave you enough for some a little something and even a little something Norris City Kids Church in the bleak is times of marriage can bring hope. But we hope to achieve today is to help you understand what kind of seeds you can so kind of weeds. You can pull what you can do in that garden to tend it so that you don’t just get a hot radish in a few tomatoes, but you actually get a life full of fruit and vegetables that you eat from and that god can nurse or so with it live in a place that is flourishing, so I hope that you’ll grab hold of some of these points today and that you’ll hang with us. We’re going to have a lot of fun too, and we’re going to read verses 18 through 25, and we want to call this first session. So what you want to grow. So what you want to grow-and this is where adam it is giving. You know, adams tour golf in the garden god created man and he created woman and place them in a garden, and this is the story where god gives man a woman gives man eve, adam, eve, here’s what it says in genesis chapter 2, verses, 18 through 25, it says, and the lord god said it is not good that man should be alone.

I will make him a helper comparable to him out of the ground. The lord god formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to adam to see what he would call them and whatever adam called each living creature. That was its name. So adam gave names to all cattle to the birds of the air and every beast of the field, but for adam there was not Norris City Kids Church a helper comparable to him, and the lord god caused a deep sleep to fall on adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs closed up the flesh and its place in the rib which the lord got it taken from man. He made into a woman, and he brought her to the man and adam said this is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. She should be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh and they were both naked. The man and his wife and a were not ashamed. We have adam in this garden and got to looking down at adam in the garden. Notices, something about manny says it is not good for the man to be alone. All you, wives out there. You can look at your husband and you know it’s not good for him to be by himself and the lady said amen to that. Have you seen my my apartment, when i, was, a bachelor. You would know that it wasn’t good for a man to be alone. You could get tetanus or anything in my apartment. Back in those days, I remember my bottle of down amarillo texas I’m in this apartment. My mom would come visit from time to time and she would come out there and she’s like how do you live like this and her jesse’s dad I was gone. It was college, break and I went back to kentucky and I was home for christmas and i. Do have jesse, go to my apartment to get something and she wouldn’t go into my place without somebody else. She never went in my place, but you wouldn’t go to my place all along, because how many know that one of the worst things you can do if you’re on a dating couple trying to live holy, is to go into a place somewhere by yourself. Somebody say amen to that was just a trap late, so we didn’t. We didn’t do that and docks, and so she has to take her to go with with her and I’ve, been in that apartment and I was getting all my clothes ready to go home for a month, so I had to stuff thrown everywhere and then I was studying for finals and i. Had every note that I had written and I died. I had a filing system, where I would throw them on everything, I owned in the place and her dad goes into my apartment, and he immediately calls me says:brian you’ve been you’ve been robbed, I’m, calling nine-one-one if I didn’t know if I had been robbed, I was just a slob and it’s not good for the man to be alone and god looks down. Since this is a bad situation-and there are some Norris City Kids Church and I’ll say this, marriage doesn’t fix all of our problems when we we carry what we have on the inside of us out of the abundance of the heart. The mouth speaks, the life happens. How many my wife is happening out of our heart, but but there is something about a partnership in life that brings another level of accountability. How many gave some things up whenever you got married, huh cuz, it’s like listen! You can’t somebody’s I won’t put up with that anymore. Right yeah. You know you’re, not you’re, not going to get drunk 3 times a week and have a wife that wants to live with. You not going to be like that anymore. There’s, some things that have to change cuz now we’re together and so does so. There is a refining part where it where we get better and maybe marriage I’ve heard that said many times, do most coolest cliche. Maybe marriage isn’t designed to make us just happy because happiness is overrated. I want to be happy, you don’t like the asians make fun of americans all the time. I know your momma wants you to be happy. Cuz they’re, like we don’t care if you’re happy, we want you to be successful and I respect the asian culture, for that will give all the asians to pick handclap, forgetting that ride today, off I appreciate them. For that we don’t care. If you’re happy, we want your holy I think you can be both, but but there’s this thing where marriage, let you know that you got to work things out, there’s pressure, there’s there’s each person giving and taking-and it’s like you start to see the holes in yourself. You can think you have it together in life until you get married and then your spouse will show you where you don’t have it together, that’s the way it works, and then you have kids, you think you’re, not selfish! Then you have children and a little other part of you dies cuz. Now you got to take care of their needs and this kind of thing is designed to do that. So god looks down at adam. He says it’s not good for the man to be alone, either. There’s holes in adam right now. There’s things that nothing’s meeting his needs in this area. He says I’m going to make a hell suitable for adam. Listen that that that’s the great blessing of marriage is there now is a helper suitable for the man in those relationships come together and those two Norris City Kids Church are put together by the handle by the spirit of god man.

Right now, if you’re married, I’m telling you the spirit of god has overseen your vows and you have been put together by the hand of god, you have to see it as sacred. It’s not just anything. It’s a sacred covenant now that we walk in and so god says man I’m going to make I’m going to make a helper suitable for him, and so a deep sleep comes on. Adam adam gets his side reached into by the hand of god, god pulls out a rib, and he shapes it into a woman in the bible talks about what what all happened after that-and it gives it finishes with this. This incredible thing. It says this says this is now bone of my bone, and this is flesh of my flesh. She should be called woman because she was taken out of man. Here’s some things that I think that we are so go into our marriage. They come straight out of this text, we’re talking about we we so what we want to grow. What we see in our marriage is right now it’s a sum total of the seeds that we’ve been sowing in the past i, don’t believe that life happens by accident, i, believe it there there’s cause and effect in life. The scripture teaches it in the old testament. The old testament is full of cause-and-effect. Israel did this now. This is the result. Now thank god. Now we have jesus, so all of our calls doesn’t have an ultimate effect. We have the grace of god now changing the effect at the end of the lie, but there are still some things that are just going to happen. The bible says be not deceived. God is not mocked whatsoever, man souls also, shall he reap everybody, say I reap what I sow. Let’s say it again:i reap what I sow our marriage is is is a reaping of what we’ve been sowing and there’s some things. I think we all have so in our marriage, so we can have the greatest garden possible number one as well too so order into our marriage. God set up order, there’s a lot of order according to scripture that belongs to us and a lot of times. Norris City Kids Church don’t like it, because it doesn’t go with our american mind-set for there to be ordering the house now, I want to say something about. This. Men are the head of the household according to god’s word, and we and women are called to be held mates, and we are also called to submit now. I know everyone hates that where they, let’s just go ahead and say it out loud, are you ready we’re going to say it together? It’s going to be awesome, look at your neighbor and set no, no, that’s not good you’re sitting by your spouse. Okay, let’s just say it out loud, everyone say submit I know. It’s seems like such an aggressive terrible on american on a sophisticated word. That just seems so terrible and Norris City Kids Church just cringe when they hear it, but the truth of the matter is that, if we’re all working in our order that it is a powerful place to send I love being submissive to brian and not in the moment, but in the effect of it, because this is the thing when we stand before god I’m, not on the line he’s the one who answers to god for all the stuff. Like he’s the trigger fuller hello, it’s awesome, I I get to be a help me I get to be at i. Get to be all the gods called me to be at that in no way shape, form or fashion to chris’s my my the things that I add to this world or to our marriage. It just simply means that there has to be an order in a house just like we have to be the parents of children who have you ever met a parent that was the chow old friend. It is a disaster because they’re supposed to be in order in the house and in the home. Now man I’ve got great news for you. You may have already figured this out, but if you think that you are the head of every woman i, dare you to try and I would like to put a camera on you when you do it cuz it’s going to be horrible. Okay, so you got into the world, and you’re just have a man so now you’re in charge of every woman. That’s not what scripture teaches us. A man is the head of his household and the reason that got set that up the reason that god makes us a helpmate is because we in that order. We are successful in that order. We achieve the goals that god has for us. If he’s being the head and I’m being the helpmate and didn’t we are parenting, then we have a greater chance of our children, walking in obedience and in truth and I want my children to be successful, because I have no greater joy than to hear my children walking in the truth. So if he’s leaving and I’m doing parts then we’re creating a successful family and in the end we win the game, we’re pushing down the field, we’re carrying the ball down the field like we’re, going to make it and we’re going to succeed and we’re going to do it together. As a team, and in that place we become teammates, we’re no longer enemies, fighting against each other for our for our personal good, but we are now teammates that are achieving a goal and working together for the common good of our family and god knew that that’s why he gave us all the position. It doesn’t make any position, less powerful, less needed, less important, less sophisticated, less intelligent.

It’s simply makes us the place. The position that gets the job accomplished. Does that make sense to you, wouldn’t when you as a woman, understand that I’m not called to be every man’s helpmate i, don’t have to worry about how you wipe your husband. It is none of my business i, really don’t care. If you want to do it. Your way, you guys figure it out in your own house. I am called to be brian, gibson’s, wife, it’s all I have to focus on brian gibson is my husband. I chose to marry him, and now my job for god is to be brian, gibson’s wife. Now that made mean something completely different to us. Then it means for don to be chad everett wife, because they have different needs. They have a different number of children. They have different calling they have different purpose. I, don’t know what they need to do in their household there. Certain scripture, all things that we have to put in place that we going to talk about today, but overarching lie I just have to do what it is that makes our family function properly and I’ll just share one of those things a lot of times. Norris City Kids Church think, if that’s what you’re not doing it right, she’s, not being the wife, she should be here, he’s not being the husband he should be, but maybe it really works for them like, for instance, but we got to a point in our life we had so many children, and so much going on that I was trying to clean the house on saturdays and i. Wanted I was working, full-time and brian was there and he was wanting to watch golf on tv and it was ticking me off and I’m, like listen I’m in here cleaning the house and you’re, not helping me and I have all of these things to do and you’re on my last nerve right now-and he looked at me, said:i never asked you to clean the house. I’d like do you want to live in filth, i, don’t understand what you want me to do and he looked at me and he said my mom never cleaned my house like what do you mean your house is like spotless? He said. Yes, she had a lady come in and clean it and I’m like okay, and how are we going to do that? He said if we skip one meal out a week, we can pay to have a lady come in and clean. This thing you don’t have to do it on saturday i, don’t have to do it on saturday and we don’t have to fight every saturday. I said:dealio buddy. Let’s do this thing. We made an agreement that in our marriage he does not need me to dust. The shells to feel helped, in other words, i, can go and help him with something at the Norris City Kids Church that he may need their that’s easier for that. No one else can do, but that I can do and anyone could dust those shelves, and so we made an agreement that that was not something that helped him in our marriage and in our family. So guess what I don’t dust, the shelves anymore and it’s a beautiful thing, but maybe in your life and your in your financial deal right now with the amount of kids you have. Maybe it’s different for you and i. Don’t know what that looks like i, don’t know what your agreements are, but you’re a call to be the helpmate to that man, and only that man, so I don’t have to in the bible says it’s not wise to compare ourselves one with another i. Don’t have to compare myself to you. I don’t have to do what you do and you don’t have to do what I do we just have to do what’s best for our family and we have to come to an agreement on what that is. I’ll, remember whenever we we had mary long, we’ve been married, maybe maybe a couple of years and I had a friend and his idea of household and submission was that that he loves putting women in their place and somebody that gets the spirit where they want to put somebody in their place, know that kind of thing with what comes around goes around that will come back and bite you in life being hard, never works, long-term. Being me, being gentle being loving, that’s what we win just like jesus in the end and one time he saw the the way I had jesse doing life, jesse’s up a gift to communicate or she’s a five-fold ministry gifts in her own right. She also has business and she does those things and-and it was a more benefit for them to me and my family having her working. These veins been doing some other things and that’s why my mom didn’t do some of those things. She was a businesswoman. She ran not my father’s offices and took care of all that that world, and so it was natural to me, but he would come over and that he did this one time. I got up and I went to the restroom and him and pet nation center by the way, and then his wife was there and whenever I leave, he he looks at jesse and he says you have to learn to be more quiet and submissive like chrissy is to me to brian, but in that crazy, if he wouldn’t that is big as chad I would have attacked him, but I’m, smarter than that. You know I’ll find out later after the fact, by the way he’s no longer married to that woman. She divorced him. It does not work along in life, but but putting everybody in their place doesn’t make sense but find a flow in life that works.

Listen, there’s a divine order in the bible says that it says:adam came first, then even it says now that the head of every household is christ. Christ is the head of all of our house, and we want to look to the main leader. We got the alpha and the omega that we can look too and let’s let him call the shots and everything else will work out. Somebody say amen, so there’s there’s christ and then there’s the husband been there, the wife and then there’s the kids, the household slows down, and if you get a divine order going on, you got it going on the right way. Things work in life, but what the devil wants to do is the devil loves to come and bring chaos into the midst of order. He is the god of this fallen world. We could call him the god of disorder, but our god is the god of order and he likes it when there’s a flow, and so anybody that’s called the lead man you’re called to lead your house. That means the leader is a loving leader in a christian home. There’s a couple of verses that almost every man in the world knows whether they’re, godly or flashlight, and those words are don’t be. Judging me judge not lest ye be judged. Show me off ever heard. Anybody quote that verse, man judge not lest ye, be judged. They don’t know the application, they don’t know the context. They don’t know what jesus was saying. He was see wasn’t same. We could never judge you were saying judge with righteous judgement and judge yourself. First before you judge somebody else. Somebody say amen to that. The second scripture they know as well submit and if that’s your motor to posture in life, it’s just not going to work for you. I grew up guys playing football I played from the third grade or 2nd 3rd grade 2 when I graduated high school and I’m the science guy. You can tell by looking at me that I never got to carry the football i, never was a white out they. Never let me touch the ball. I got to block for the guys that carried the ball and I was kind of a short squatty pulling guard. That’s what I did and I would guard I would block for the quarterback on the field and ask a guard. You don’t get to call the place. The quarterback holds the place new, execute the place and saw it was my job to listen to what what that guy said when it really mattered and the block for him and listen. If he cared about me, he had to be in charge on the field, but but he had to show some respect and honor to the guys that are blocking for him if he doesn’t show respect and honor to the guys that are blocking for him. They can wait for a pass play to come then get on his blind side and they just get out of the way and let that let that blitzing linebacker come and they can get that got taken out in a second and I watch, a lot of guys that they don’t respect to the er and charged up or what they’re in charge of, and they set themselves up for a big failure in life. If we love those that we lead and listen just because I’m in charge doesn’t mean I make all the decisions I rarely make. The decision to my house I’ll wait to make the decisions that really really matter and I know this matters. A person who has authority doesn’t have to use it all. The time come on. You ever met somebody that got a little authority and now they’re just gone they’ve gone crazy with authority. I’ve dealt with some of that we’ve been renovating a building recently and there’s there’s a zoning and planning and there’s all these codes and all the stuff you have to get right and I’ve ran into some Norris City Kids Church throughout the years working in that world they got just. They got some authority in an area, and now man they’re going to load it over here and now it’s kind of rules in that kind of domination of Norris City Kids Church get it bursts, rebellion in the hearts of Norris City Kids Church that are around you see jesus. He loves us, but he said this. He said you whenever you leave, he said the gentiles, they the lord it over Norris City Kids Church, but it will not be so among you and he said those who lead. Let them serve the one that gets first. Let him come last any turn that whole leadership thing upside down, so what were called to be man is were called to be in order and to make the decisions whenever they really matter, but to pay attention and to make sure every voice is heard in and only pulled the trigger whenever it’s necessary and you need to redirect something now also know. This I know that I have a partner with me in life, I’m married. She she has a brain, she’s smart and does she sees things that I don’t see how many you guys have ever had your wife pick up something on somebody, but you were just oblivious to you, walk into a room and-and you come out of that you’ve been in there either I’ve been hanging out and you’ll get out of the room and it just you’ll be like. Did you notice, so when so how? How bird up and angry and kind of weird in there where they were none like no i, didn’t see any of that. You made this person mad brian and you need to work. She sees things I don’t see. So, instead of pulling out in the highway with the blind-spot god’s, given us a helper, get all the input before you make decisions that really matter in life and there’s strength in that it honestly there’s strength in it.

It’s not to demean anyone. It’s just that. We all have position that we get to play on and if we do it together, we all get to win and have the party at the end and and to me it’s more about the party in the celebration of the wind. What is the wind for your family and if the wynn can’t be accomplished with my attitude today, then I would rather lay my attitude down so that we can all went together if the wind can’t be accomplished because I want it done. My way that I need to lay down my way and that’s on both sides and respecting an honoring and loving one of the number one needs of a man is to be loved and I mean to I’m sorry to be respected. One of the number one needs of a woman is to be loved and when we flow in those things pulling for each other’s good, I believe the other one feels that-and you say, jesse I’m in a marriage right now we’re not pulling for each other. We’re not winning at anything. Will today’s a good start and getting some of these tools in your toolbox was incredible, but honestly you’re going to have to start with something and you’re just going to have to expect at the other one isn’t going to start with you and that if you begin to sow the seed, maybe they’ll start with you and it’ll be a huge blessing in a weight off of you. But they may not start with you at first and it’s going to be okay, because god sees the seeds that you’re selling and he’s going to see hey there sowing seeds where they need to sell him the kind of seeds they need to sew and I believe that god supernaturally intervenes, even if it’s just in our own heart and life, to give us peace where there is no peace, grace where there is no grace rest where there is no rest and someone encourage you, this morn, without the second seed that we want to. So is the law of sacrifice, and we want to so sacrifice into our marriage. If we want a good garden we’re going to have to so sacrifice. Some of you sacrifice some things. When you got married, brian sacrifice every old t-shirt that he ever had all of them. Little by little. We didn’t make it to traumatic i, just stole them day by day and hit them places until I wanted to fit anymore anyway. So you know, I sacrifice some things. Whenever I married brian and through the years we’ve continued to sacrifice for one another there a lot of things that you gain and marriage a lot of things that are added to you, things that I would never give up now 17 years and knowing what I know now and looking back it didn’t seem like it doesn’t seem like a huge sacrifice now. But in the moment have you ever been in the moment when it just seems like too much to give up like you feel like you’re, giving like there are parts of you that are dying everyday, like calling you in the bible. It talks about dying to our flesh right. There are pieces of our flesh that are literally put being put to death. Instituted. This thing called marriage and there is going to be sacrifice and there is going to be death of things that you thought needed to live and then they die and you, and there were times that you miss him at first. But then years later you look back to go. Why was that important to me? I’m not even sure why that was so important and it’s not the big things like it’s, not him. Taking the business woman side of me and crushing it, it’s not that kind of thing it’s the attitudes and the desires, and they have to choose and the things that steal time and all of these things you don’t and putting some of that flesh. That’s on the inside of us. We are, we have a friend and he says, if someone’s not, he says it in a little bit different way, but it basically he’s kind of redneck. Guy said if someone is at eating crow, all the time you’re not in a good marriage, I think that’s incredible! Cuz, it’s just like pretty much every day. One of us is eating the crow. You don’t like it and if we’re not, then we’re not doing something right, someone’s giving into easy. If you haven’t been irritated in awhile and you haven’t had to die to anything in a while, your spouse is liable to blow up anytime like if you feel comfortable in your marriage. You better watch out cuz. The explosion is on the way I told you. They were just daily things that we have to die to in our self that’s. The law of sacrifice adam had to give up a rib to get even return, sir, going to lay something down and a lot of Norris City Kids Church don’t want to lay down they coming to a marriage and they want to keep their they’re single attitude being able to do whatever they want to whenever they want to I watch guys, typically or worse about this, because we collect hobbies his guys, you know I know I know, ladies, have hobbies to jesse’s hobby is shopping and deliver me from that. Now that there’s internet shopping cuz, she can spend money in philpot kentucky, which there’s nothing in philpot kentucky. It’s like what guys you know. I got friends, I’m a golfer, but I got friends. If you know they golf, they hunt, they finish there. A pilot, they, ride, harley, I meant. When do you ever work or talk to your wife, I’m trying to figure it out and there’s been times in my life but happy that I like to do it takes 4 hours to play around golf on a crowded at a golf course, and then there’s there’s going to the course there’s coming back and I used to be a really not a great golfer, but I was a decent golfer, but as we got married, the Norris City Kids Church started growing time started coming away from me.

Then then we started traveling and ministering. Some I got got involved in business. Had three kids and now I look at my life and there’s some things:i got to lay down at times and sacrifice from myself, so this marriage can become better. That’s not just a one-way street. That’s a two-way street! Both the man and the woman have to look and say, wait a minute. It’s not! No longer it! It’s no longer! Just me! It’s it’s not just me! It’s us and when you start thinking like that, that’s when you get yourself set up, you know the greatest gift you ever get in life. There always birth in the fire sacrifice some of the greatest breakthroughs I’ve ever had 20 gods asked me to really lay something down that I didn’t want to lay down how many old would agree with that. You ever sold a seed that just hurt you, you know. Maybe the Norris City Kids Church is doing some kind of giving deal or project and we’re building something and got speak, something to you and then it’s like that is painful. That’s going to hurt, but whenever I’ve been obedient to it to it, that’s when the greatest blessing is coming to my life watch, a principle of sacrifice, you know or how many takes isaac up on mount moriah god tells him lay down sacrifice your son, your only son and then abraham goes and he’s obd any sacrifices. What he needs to for the call of god on his life when he doesn’t, the angel comes and holds back the knife, and then then god knows that he’s faithful to him and he becomes the father of a multitude. Listen sacrifice, never diminish you sacrificed will always increase you long term. It may hurt for a moment, but it’s always going to be good. So Norris City Kids Church you got to sacrifice some relationships. Norris City Kids Church you have to sacrifice your old single way of doing things. There’s a lot of sacrifices, google call you too, and if you’ll do them. You’ll reap a harvest. Beep third thing that that we need to sew and i. Think it it’s here. The scripture said this:it said that that’s adam, but it said that they would a man would leave his father and his mother. They would leave their father and their mother and they would cleavon to their their wife and I believe it’s. This I believe that there needs to be the seed of separation sewn into the garden of our marriage leave and cleave. So this is big. Specially I have Norris City Kids Church in small communities like we live in where Norris City Kids Church are very family-oriented and there’s a very tribal mentality where we, you know, still do dinners together and we still have that community, which is awesome. You know it’s such a great fiber to have in our nation where these families love one another and still get together, and all this when you go into cities, it doesn’t look like that. There’s Norris City Kids Church from all over nobody has any family. They don’t have any accountability. So there’s a beautiful thing about extended family, but god shows us here that we are to leave our father in our mother and cleave unto our wife and part of that separation can be interesting with extended family so close together. You know there are times before you’re married that you can just sit around and like cook with your mom and fold towels with your mom and talk with your mom all day, but when you get married, you have to set the priority at something different now now this is my family and we still love our families. We still connect with our families, we still honor our mother and father. We do all of those things, but this is priority. This is the thing, so it’s like, like I’m, sorry that you want me to do this with you, but I got to go. Hang out with my brother or my dad or whatever, but that is not the priority, so it’s shifting the priority in our life. It’s not that we don’t love the extended parts of our family. It is that now, literally, we have become one flesh. This is more important as his covenant and in god’s eyes. Coven is the highest form of relationship. It comes above mother, it comes above father, it comes above sister, it comes above brother, it comes above nieces and nephews. It comes above all of those things and if we will leave and cleave god can really cause there to be unity. I. Think one of the best things that ever happened to brian die in our life was that we went off to college two weeks after we got married. We walked into town where we knew two Norris City Kids Church and they weren’t in town. They were out of town right then, and brian and I had to learn so like if I was mean that day didn’t have a friend in the world. You know we had to learn to come back into apologizing, to lay down our own agenda and lay down our own thing. We didn’t have anywhere to go. We didn’t have anything else to do. We couldn’t get into a fight me go sleep at my momma’s house! Listen! If you leave your house when you get into a fight and go to your family’s house, that is not part of leaving and cleaving if you are, or if you’re, making a place for your kids for those kids to come back every time they have a spat, it’s not abusive, you’re doing damage so that that marriage and that covenant it is vital to the existence of a marriage for a husband and a wife to leave and cleave, and if you’re, providing a spot for that child that just gotten married to come right back in the house tonight.

Mama will make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You sit down here. You little sweetie, i, don’t know what’s wrong them, they don’t know how what a wonderful gift you are to the world. You know and you’re just cuddling bad and trying to just make sure that they spill comfy in that they know that they’re always loved. That is not good cuz. What they need to feel is that that person is mad at them and it’s probably because they did something and they need to go back into that house and they need to learn how to relationally work these things out so that they can get it together so that their family isn’t destroyed, because when we don’t learn to apologize, when we don’t learn to go back and and walk in love, when we don’t learn to forgive and to let that person go when we can go to her mom’s until the emotions gone, then we there something that is not working in our own household. It’s vital to leave and take leave. So that’s it. If you are if you’re experiencing that right now, I encourage you i, don’t mean say in the house, in the same room and scream at one, another I mean figure out how to do it. When will talk about it later sessions about how to have that disagreement and come out of it with everyone in the winnings out, you know jesse now we first got married and while we were engaged her and her mother started, having do you know they were having a tough time, I think a lot of times whenever a child gets ready to go. Norris City Kids Church parents start to freak out cuz. You know who this kid to leave in, and emotions get on high and I didn’t do you know? Young ladies, are becoming women and there’s only one room for one queen bee in any household. Somebody say amen to that insult someone. That’s going on and I get called in to a family meeting and they’re having a family meeting were engaged now, listen I come from a household of all men and there was my mother and then all brothers, three boys and dad everybody was cowboys. Everybody played football, everybody wrestled. There wasn’t a whole lot of family meetings at our house. There might be a family fist fight out back, but there were no family meetings and I got called in this family. Me I’m like watching it is and everybody’s talking about how they feel and all this stuff, but I’m like man when I get married in 20 days. I will never come to another family meeting as long as I live and we got married and we came back into town-and this is a little bad of me, but I still love it and I brown expect you to family meeting I’m like what family. This is. My family I just want a pleasure knowing that there’s got to be some line somewhere right and if you get heavy handed in that kind of thing it just it just won’t pay long term it in so I think we we sort of this, be a little bit different up and goes on a long time in the kind of town I’m from and you guys are from. So it’s just something to think about the next load. The next thing we need is so is the law of unity. Everybody say unity in a tank and it’s not just that we’re separating, but cuz we’re honoring and we’re loving, but but there’s got to be a new house. Now we have to be unified to something new and I’ve got to see jesse as my partner in life and everything and a lot of times, Norris City Kids Church get drawn up that they get ideas in life and they start fighting with family and i. Don’t think we need to fight with family. We don’t need to fight with our spouses need to fight for tablet. I want to live my life from that position. We’re not fighting with each other were unified, we’re a team we’re running the same place. We have the same goals, were building a life together and showing that kind of unity is vital. Anyone that comes between that it doesn’t matter whose voice it is. If there is anyone speaking against brian, they are not my friend. If there is anyone speaking against me, they are not brian’s friend. It doesn’t mean that we can’t have someone that says. If someone wants to talk to me like jesse, you know you hurt my feelings. You said something that was unkind or you know where there’s that I have an issue that we need to work out together. That’s great! That’s different! There talking to me about me, but when they’re talking to brian about me, they are trying to bring a wedge in between. There is no greater way to have an affair, then to listen to your coworker who’s talking about their spouse and then wants to engage you in conversation about your spouse. It is the quickest way into an affair that I’ve seen in 15 years of ministry. We watch it time after time, after, time, after, time, after, time, after time, because these Norris City Kids Church don’t understand unity, they don’t know where their allegiance lies, and so they listen and then they begin to share and then there’s there’s this thing that forms between Norris City Kids Church that are talking so for brian and i. It’s just not even an option. The minute that someone speaks against him to me. Their cut off relationally i, don’t ever talk to them anymore and I mean anyone who love most supper of the lamb sunday, but because I’m telling you that’s my guy right there, and this is us. This is what we’re doing for god we’re going to build this family, and if it’s the last thing I do I will die building this family, because this is what god has called me to.

Norris City Kids Church we feel the natural unspiritual, affection and allegiance to the Norris City Kids Church around us and we completely drop the allegiance to the very thing that god has called us to raise up the banner for which is our family and so that seed of unity, strong. You know Norris City Kids Church don’t talk to me about brian anymore, that ended about five years into our marriage. Do you know why cuz they have seen what I do when Norris City Kids Church talk about brian to me, first of all, I’m going to respond with. You should go talk to him about that, but then I’m going to step back and I promise you we won’t be going on any more coffee outings. There won’t be any more of any of that in our life, not that I would be hanging out with a man I’m talking about women. Even listen, i, don’t have guy friends. If they’re, not brian’s friend we’re not a couple friend, we don’t have guy friends, I don’t have we live in kentucky i, don’t even hang out with my cousin, I made sure I’m telling you like it is nothing i, don’t know if my second cousin, that was just a joke, jesse’s, actually my special cousin, how that old, but listen, listen. Are there, some of them out here to write a funny joke for all of you guys, because we know you talk about us, but we actually at you know, there’s just no i, don’t hang out i, don’t have guy friends when I got married. He became my guy friend. We have couple friends that we hang out with together, but I don’t have phone conversations with them. You’re in a professional environment you have to have a phone conversation is very professional and very brief. That’s one thing you have to text someone from work and let them know something but to have conversation, ongoing relationship with someone of the opposite sex. It is a marriage, breaker I’m telling you you are asking for trouble and where there is unity there is peace, and so if we can build that unity in our marriage, we have to switch off and never been. The friend of a woman. Ever in my life ever I mean when I was a kid and I’m like acting friendly. It wasn’t that I wanted to be friendly with a woman. What what am I going to do? Listen when I was a teenager or young 20 god. Whenever I wanted to be around a woman or talk about a woman, it was because I had a thing called sex drive working in my life. How many guys would admit something like them and I can be, I can be friendly, I guess, there’s two of us in here that are honestly rescue task, I’m. Just her friends like what we go shopping together, where we going. What are we going to do together? There’s there’s natural things working there and it just doesn’t make sense and I’m telling you I see a lot of Norris City Kids Church that they’ve had friends since when we were friends since we were little kids, we wrote to school together and we did this and we did that and yeah and you made out with them and 9th grade come on and that still swirling around your head and it was your second cousin. So it’s okay, but I’ll just I’m just saying Now:i’m now I got a friend. Her name is jesse, my other friends jesus and all my friends other than that I mean that they’re males. Why? Because I want to keep this unified and nothing should come between that, and so we have went well we’ll talk about that. We got more sessions. The last point it to the next one. You think we’ll see

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